Originally Posted by
TJ5
Ha I'm 46, been doin meth on & off 27-28 yrs already. As a kid back in the early 70's, I had what was referred to as,"hyperactivity," & every other kid wasn't diagnosed with having ADHD or whatever. I have 3 half siblings, all of us from different Moms, same dad, & all 4 of us have ADHD---as does our sperm donor, the man that sired, but didn't raise any of us. Anyway, besides being "hyperactive," I also had a bad case of dyslexia where I still see letters bass akwards to this day (for a second or 2.) Out of the 4 of us, I was the only one given Rx ritalin or any drug to be able to sit the fuck down and learn. Not surprisingly, pops can't barely sign his name, & my siblings like pops didn't get past 10th grade. I graduated high school, & DID in fact learn to read & write well.
I'd HATE to have to go through life not writing, reading, ALOT as those two activities rock. In my case I thank God I WAS put on Ritalin because all the adults, I remember would always be pissed off & be able to tell if I had 4gotten to "go 2 the office & get a pill" at school any given day, lol, & I have vague recollections of having a shitload of physical energy-- without the drug--& was always wild, disruptive, & managed to piss off adults. I was too riled up for most other kids even which sucked cause I couldn't understand why the world was always angry at me. I wasn't TRYING to be a freaken energetic goofball....but unmedicated apparently I was.
What I'd do NOW for that energy to come back to me w/o chemical aid haha. When I was about 11 or so, I was taken off the Ritalin, & my parents were told I'd "grow out of it" the hyperness one day. There are adults that have both ADD with hyperactivity....as well as ADD attention deficeit...unable to focus, bored easily, lacks concentration...& hell I finally realized recently, after researching a lot about this disorder, reading other people's accounts as well, that although I may have "grown out of hyperactivity," the rest of the symptoms have stayed with me to this day....unless I'm on meth.
I have noticed over the years that maintaining a low dose only of meth allows concentration, the ability to sit in a chair without squirming & feeling the need to get up, walk around and move every 5 fukn minutes, as well as not being bored, I can get my shit done, focus...& obviously this explains why I don't get very much joy out of writing scripts, learning new things on the PC, or anything new or electronic---without meth. Granted, dosing a bit too high on meth, I'm all over the board writing weird shit, and laughing, giggling & shit & jokes only I can see & hear lol.
I have tried, however, every damned remedy from accupuncture, reiki, going to a Dr. that are Naturpaths, but in terms of the ADD...NOTHING else works. I did notice too, 15 yrs ago I was given Rx for phentermine to lose weight----which I took for theraputic purposes only meaning---for 3 months, although the same "high" was not there, I was still able to stick to a low fat/carb diet, ate & measured my 3 meals a day, but didn't have to suffer the torment of constant jonesin for all the junk food that is impossible to avoid being in your face assuming you watch TV once in a while...& leave the house.
I was fine with that. When clean & sober 2 yrs doing NA program of complete abstinence....I voluntarily quit taking my Rx for migraines....the narcotic kind, but had the non narcotic tryptans available. It's damn near impossible to take Rx narcs only for pain....when you have the beast inside cause it wants some too....which is why it was easier to NOT take. Life always changes though, & after 18 months being clean went through hell stuck with chronic fatigue symptoms 24/7 no matter how much or little I slept. I was tired either way 24/7. After going to doc, spend hundres of $$ on lab work, 9 mon later & hundreds $ poorer & broke, thats when I said fuck it, went back to meth.
As a functioning addict having the same job 5 yrs now, I noticed that the fatigue started up after taking Tramadol a couple wks. It's somehow fucked my neuro chemistry cause I've never had severe issues being tired 24/7....still for what it's worth...I do have a high tolerance for meth now....but am wanting to stop injecting....& ask doc for Rx for Vyvance, as suggested on here. If I were to take any Rx meth or amphetimine, due to tolerance I wouldn't get high...but I can still feel "normal" on merely a maintainance dose daily. This is where I'd ideally like to be.
I am willing to give up the sporadic highs in favor of consistently not falling asleep or fighting it, controlling appetite, which meth/speed does on maintainance dose....I'm a normal weight size 10 or 8 at about 160 lbs at 5'7", I can focus, concentrate even when not dosing enough to get high. I would probably allow one week a couple times a year---off work, driving, other responsibilities---allow myself the recreation with meth like I did yrs ages ago using "on a schedule" of 90-120 days off--& 5 days on + 2 days recovery. I only had dope in the house on schedule. Seeing as how though the pros are numerous to try a low dose Rx speed only - (&stopping the black market kind) make me want to see doc & ask---if I can drum up the courage 2 do it. Am all paranoid about being perceived as "drug seeker.."
As for the Rx pain pills....I've leveled out at certain amount for 8 days...w/o asking for more, or doc shopping....& miraculously found the perfect balance between taking for pain vs. taking for recreation w/o going over the magic # lol. I'm happy with that. Still I wonder about taking Rx for ADD....& others. Are there any folks here that take Rx speed at a level dose, w/o doin street speed....& not turning into a greedy pill glutton 2 get high. I'm tired of the cons of NOT having daily low dose....but no longer wanna have to depend on obtaining illegally & keeping tolerance high...